Christian Dating and What It Means to Be "Equally Yoked" in Marriage

Good morning, church family. Today, we’re going to talk about something that’s incredibly important for anyone who’s single, dating, or married: being equally yoked. This phrase might sound a little old-fashioned, but it’s straight from the Bible, and it holds the key to having a strong, God-centered marriage.

We’ll also tackle a big question: What does the Bible say about dating? Spoiler alert: dating as we know it isn’t in the Bible! So how do we find a Christian partner without dating the way the world does? Let’s dive in and talk about God’s plan for relationships and marriage.

What Does “Equally Yoked” Mean?

The term “equally yoked” comes from 2 Corinthians 6:14, which says:

“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?”

In simple terms, a yoke is a tool that ties two animals together, like oxen, so they can work as a team. But if one animal is stronger or going in a different direction, the pair won’t get anywhere. They’ll just struggle and pull against each other.

Marriage works the same way. God’s plan is for both partners to be moving in the same direction—spiritually, emotionally, and in their values. If one person is following Jesus and the other isn’t, it’s like trying to plow a field with two animals pulling in opposite directions. It just doesn’t work, and it leads to frustration and conflict.

Being equally yoked means both people are committed to following Jesus and building their lives on His foundation.

Why Dating Isn’t Biblical

When we look at Scripture, we don’t see anything about dating. That’s because dating, as we know it today, didn’t exist back then. Instead, people approached relationships with purpose and intention, focusing on building a marriage that honored God.

The problem with modern dating is that it often encourages casual relationships based on feelings or attraction rather than seeking God’s will. It can lead to heartbreak, temptation, and even sin. Proverbs 4:23 warns us,

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life.”

Casual dating can leave your heart unprotected, making it harder to trust and fully commit in the future.

Interestingly, studies show that arranged marriages in other cultures—where people approach relationships with intention—often have higher success rates. While we’re not talking about arranged marriages here, the principle of being intentional and focused on God’s plan is biblical.

How to Find a Christian Partner Without Dating

If the Bible doesn’t tell us to date, how do we find a godly spouse? Here’s a better way—one that puts God first and avoids the pitfalls of casual relationships:

1. Focus on Your Relationship with God First

Matthew 6:33 says, “Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” Before looking for a spouse, focus on growing in your relationship with God. When you put Him first, He will guide you and prepare your heart for the right person.

2. Pray for God’s Guidance

Ask God to lead you to the person He has for you. Trust that He knows what you need better than you do. Psalm 37:4 says, “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.” When you trust Him, He aligns your desires with His will.

3. Get Involved in Your Church Community

The best place to meet a like-minded Christian is in church or serving in ministry. When you’re actively living out your faith, you’re more likely to meet someone who shares your commitment to Christ.

4. Build Friendship First

Instead of rushing into romance, start with friendship. Get to know the other person’s character, values, and faith. Ask yourself: Do they love God? Do they live out their faith? Do they encourage me to grow closer to Jesus?

5. Be Intentional, Not Casual

If you’re interested in someone, approach the relationship with purpose. Have honest conversations about your faith, goals, and values. Make sure you’re on the same page spiritually before moving forward.

6. Commit to Purity

Whether you’re single, dating, or courting, keep your relationship pure. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 says, “God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin.” Physical intimacy is meant for marriage. Protect your heart and honor God by setting boundaries.

Encouragement for Singles

If you’re single and waiting for a godly spouse, don’t be discouraged. Singleness is not a curse—it’s a season where God can work powerfully in your life. Use this time to grow spiritually, discover your purpose, and serve others.

Remember, God’s timing is perfect. He knows your heart, your needs, and your future. Trust Him, and don’t settle for anything less than His best for you. Proverbs 3:5-6 says,

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take.”

For Those Already Married

If you’re married and wondering whether you and your spouse are equally yoked, know this: God can work in any situation. Pray for your spouse and ask God to bring unity to your relationship. Live out your faith with love and patience, trusting that God can transform hearts.

Closing Thought

Being equally yoked isn’t about perfection; it’s about walking together in the same direction, with God at the center. Whether you’re single, dating, or married, the most important relationship you’ll ever have is your relationship with Jesus. When He’s your foundation, everything else will fall into place.

Closing Prayer

Heavenly Father, thank You for Your perfect plan for our lives and relationships. Help us to trust You, to seek You first, and to walk in obedience to Your Word. For those who are single, give them patience and wisdom as they wait for the right person. For those in relationships, guide them to honor You in all they do. And for those who are married, strengthen their bond and bring unity to their hearts. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Remember, God’s plan is always worth waiting for! Trust Him, and He will guide you to what’s best.