Running the Race Together: Arguing in a Way that Honors Christ

Good morning, church! Today we’re tackling a topic that hits home for many of us—arguments in marriage. Married couples won’t be too surprised by this subject because disagreements are part of the journey. But how we handle those arguments can either hinder or strengthen our relationship and our walk with Christ.

Have you ever watched The Amazing Race? Couples compete in challenges, racing to reach the finish line. You see certain teams thrive because they work together, while others lose ground because they let frustration and fighting slow them down. Marriage can feel like that race—we’re running toward a shared goal, but if we waste energy arguing, we lose sight of the mission God has given us.

The Eternal Perspective

In life, we are called to seek God’s kingdom and make disciples. If we spend our time battling each other over petty issues, it distracts us from that eternal calling. When conflicts arise, one of the most powerful reminders is this: divorce is not an option, and our time is limited. Why squander it on arguments that won’t matter in eternity? 1 Peter 3:7 tells us,

“Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.”

Think about that. If I don’t treat my spouse with honor and understanding, my prayers may be hindered. And if there’s one thing we cannot afford, it’s for God to stop listening to our prayers.

Marriage isn’t just about loving each other; it’s about reflecting Christ’s love and staying on mission together. We have too much to do for the kingdom to waste time in prideful disputes.

Humility: The Key to Peace

The greatest word I can share with you today is humility. At the core of most conflicts lies pride. James 4:6 reminds us,

“God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”

The goal in marriage isn’t to win arguments; it’s to become more like Jesus. And often, the person who “wins” the argument does so at the cost of humility. If I win through arrogance, I may have defeated my spouse in the moment, but now I stand opposed by God. And that’s a battle I’m guaranteed to lose.

So let’s ask ourselves: is winning this argument worth losing the favor of God? Is it worth risking division in our marriage?

Treating Your Spouse as God’s Daughter (or Son)

Your spouse is more than your partner—she (or he) is a child of God. How you speak to them and treat them should reflect that truth. When we honor our spouse, we honor God. When we belittle them, we not only harm our relationship but risk straining our connection with the Lord.

Imagine if Jesus stood next to you during every argument. Would your tone change? Would your words soften? In reality, He is present, watching how we treat the one He entrusted to us.

Choosing What Matters Most

We need to distinguish between temporary frustrations and eternal priorities. Not every issue is worth the energy of a drawn-out conflict. Sometimes the best thing you can do is let it go.

Ask yourself:

• Does this matter in eternity?

• Is this worth damaging the peace in my home?

• Can I humble myself and let my spouse have their way?

  
  

Often, the answer to these questions leads us to release our grip on things that ultimately don’t matter.

Closing

So how do we argue in a way that honors Christ?

1. Keep the eternal perspective. Don’t let petty disagreements pull you off mission.

2. Pursue humility over pride. Winning an argument is never worth losing God’s favor.

3. Treat your spouse as God’s beloved child, with gentleness and honor.

4. Choose peace over being right. If it’s not eternal, let it go.

   
   

Marriage is a race worth running, and the goal is not to cross the finish line first, but to cross it together. Let’s honor God in how we love, speak, and yes, even how we argue with our spouse.

Prayer:

Father, thank You for the gift of marriage. Teach us to handle disagreements in ways that reflect Your heart. Let humility shape our words and actions. Help us to value our spouse as You do and to remember the greater mission we share. May our unity glorify You and strengthen our witness to the world. In Jesus’ name, Amen.